back the fuck up
There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.
did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out
This just keeps getting better
SO I got something
There was this one loser who had to go and gather 107 other losers to beat the Evil Galactic tyrant known as Alieta.
One of those losers died, and after gathering the last of the 107 God Cards. The loser was brought back.
Beliving in the heart of the cards, Alieta was overthrown, and they took over the world.
All hail the Great Hokage Ichigo
gaining new followers
WHAT SPORT IS THIS?
Human tire bowling
A sport I want to be involved in
WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE
who knew matt groening is a weaboo
Maggiechu, Miklisa, Rangiku Margemoto, Homeroni Kenshin, and Bartuto. Just wow.
Why did I do this to myself?
NYPD escorting a raccoon out of a beauty salon
"GROOT HELP ME YOU FUCKING TWIG"
(( *cues the “I believe I can fly” music* ))